


Hogwarts: The School With Pep!

by nearlydownpours



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: 1970s, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/F, F/M, M/M, Marauders, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 05:12:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14465769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nearlydownpours/pseuds/nearlydownpours
Summary: The riverdale/marauders-era Hogwarts crossover nobody asked for. James and Archie being quidditch bros? betty and lily becoming inseperable, mutually supportive best friends? kevin keller having a LOT of sex in the forbidden forest? and you just know cheryl blossom was made to strut through those stone corridors.(You know things are about to get spicy when you're using relationship tags which don't even exist)





	Hogwarts: The School With Pep!

**Author's Note:**

> never have i felt more like i'm dangerously playing god
> 
> (also i'm pretending they’re like 16 or something because 11 is way too young and I don’t wanna skip them straight to 5th year for the sake of it. Its Hogwarts College of witchcraft and wizardry now. and to hell with the fact first years are pretty much never on the quidditch team. who even pays attention to that)

There was an echoing clank as the studded door closed behind them, officially marking their first entrance into Hogwarts castle.

“Gryffindor here we come boys!” a loud boy with curly hair declared, throwing his arms over the shoulders of two other first years next to him.

“Yeah that’ll be a miracle, Black,” one of them chuckled in response.

Across the corridor a taller boy eyed the three of them with interest.

“Where do you think it’s gonna put you, Kevin?” asked the girl next to him, looking around anxiously and rubbing her palms on the sides of her robes. “I hope we’re in the same one, or Archie, though he thinks he’ll get put into Gryffindor and there’s no way I’ll end up in there.”

Kevin pulled his gaze away from the group of boys and gave her a rub on her shoulder. “You’ll be fine wherever you are Betty, any house would be lucky to have you.”

“Aw, thanks Kev,” she said, still sounding uncertain.

The group came to a stop outside a door so imposing it could only lead into the great hall.

“Okay everyone,” Professor McGonagall turned to address them. “You’ll now get sorted into your respective houses: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin. Believe it or not was once a student here too so I know that certain houses have certain… connotations, or that you may have your sights set on a particular house, or feel like you have expectations to live up to, but you need to trust that the sorting hat does not get it wrong; it will place you into your house for a reason, even if that reason may not seem immediately apparent or agreeable to you. Now,” with a wave of her wand the door opened and they were hit by a wave of heat and sound. The students inside cheered as the first years made their way down the centre of the hall.

 

“Welcome, welcome.” Dumbledore beckoned them forward from where he stood beside a tall wooden stool supporting an easily recognizable, ragged, brown wizard’s hat. He held a short scroll of paper which he momentarily studied before calling forward the first student.

“Andrews, Archie.”

Archie turned to grin at Kevin and Betty before placing himself on the stool which Dumbledore had vacated the hat from.

The hat was hardly on his head for long before it made its decision.

“Gryffindor!”

Archie jogged over to the Gryffindor table with a grin and Dumbledore looked down at the parchment before calling the next student.

“Black, Sirius.”

The boy Kevin had been watching earlier leapt forward. Dumbledore then placed the hat on top of Sirius’ head and patiently waited. Kevin watched as the boys eyes moved around the room, unfocused, as if he was listening to something. Suddenly a look of defiance came on his face and he set his jaw, his gaze briefly flicking from the Slytherin tables over to the Gryffindor ones.

“Gryffindor!” the hat shouted aloud for a second time.

“Well bloody hell,” a voice to Kevin’s right said over the cheer which had gone up from the Gryffindor table. It was one of the boys Sirius Black had had his arm around earlier.

“Who is he?” Kevin asked.

“He’s a Black, one of the biggest pureblood families around, not a damn one of them hasn’t been in Slytherin, I thought I was a sure thing.”

Sirius grinned widely as he hopped off the stool and headed over to the welcoming arms of the Gryffindor prefects and a smiling Archie.

“Blossom, Cheryl.”

A girl with long, red hair swanned up to the stool with even more cool confidence than Sirius. If Betty hadn’t been so nervous Kevin would’ve started to wonder if he was crazy for being slightly apprehensive.

There was a weighted quiet which fell over the hall. No-one needed to ask who the Blossoms were, they’d had the whole front page of the daily Prophet to themselves a month or so ago. Cheryl’s twin brother, Jason, had been murdered in one of the biggest dark magic scandals in decades. Not many details had been made public but the general word on the grapevine, and from what Kevin had overheard his dad discussing, was that it was very, very bad. They hadn’t even caught the person responsible yet.

The hat was on Cheryl’s head for all of five seconds before it declared “Slytherin!”

With a smug smile Cheryl glided off the stool and headed over to the green decked tables. Kevin had to appreciate the colour contrast of her hair and the house colours; Merlin, the disaster it would've been if she’d ended up in Hufflepuff.

“Cooper, Betty.”

Kevin squeezed her hand.

“See you later.”

She smiled and made her way forwards.

“You know her?” the boy asked.

“Yeah, pretty much since we were born. My dad knows her mum. And that first guy, Archie, he lives next door to her.” He held out his hand, “I’m Kevin by the way, Keller.”

The boy shook it. “James Potter. Keller as in the Auror?”

Kevin nodded, “That’s my dad.”

James smiled and they turned back to focus on Betty. The hat seemed to be deliberating and Betty was gripping onto the sides of the stool like it was the only think keeping her upright.

“Gryffindor!” it finally announced and the mixture of shock and joy on Betty’s face was a picture. She looked over at Kevin who gave her a thumbs up before she ran happily over to where Archie was loudly cheering from the Gryffindor table.

The next person was a girl called Lily Evans who was also sorted into Gryffindor. Were there going to be any Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs at all? Or was it just going to be all Gryffindors with Cheryl blossom in Slytherin. Just as Kevin was thinking this a boy called Jughead Jones was announced as the first Ravenclaw of the evening. The Ravenclaw tables went wild at finally getting a student and the boy shyly slipped onto one of the benches, clearly not enjoying being the centre of attention.

“Keller, Kevin.”

Kevin gulped.

“Good luck mate.” James said and Kevin smiled in thanks.

It caught him off guard when a loud voice started speaking to him once the hat was on his head.

“Keller eh? I remember sorting your father, powerful young wizard he was. Determined, but with a reckless streak of bravery enough for me to place him in Gryffindor. Is that where you’d like to go?”

Kevin was unsure whether he was supposed to answer out loud or just wait. No-one else had said anything while they were getting sorted.

“Your friends are there, yes, Miss Cooper and Mr Andrews,” the hat deliberated for a bit. “But I think for you it’ll be… Hufflepuff!”

Kevin looked over at the Gryffindor table where Betty was making a pouty face and then over at the Hufflepuff table where a dozen smiling faces were welcoming him over. He hopped of the stool and went to join them. It was a shame the three of them weren’t all in the same house but he hadn’t really expected it to happen anyway. It was a surprise that he was the one on his own though, he’d thought maybe he and Archie would be in the same house, his dad had been in Gryffindor after all, or if not he and Betty might’ve ended up in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff together.

“First Hufflepuff of the night!” a girl with long brown hair patted the bench next to her. “Welcome!”

Kevin took his seat and turned to continue watching the rest of the sorting ceremony. A girl called Veronica Lodge was called up and after several moments of deliberation was announced to be in the same house as Kevin.

“Bloody hell,” one of the prefects across the table said whilst clapping her over, “a Lodge in Hufflepuff? That’s the biggest shock since Black was put in Gryffindor five minutes ago! Slytherin is missing out tonight.”

Before Kevin had chance to ask who the Lodges were the girl had arrived and sat down next to him, a relieved smile plastered across her face.

“We’re in Hufflepuff! Isn’t this amazing!”

Kevin smiled at her, if slightly bemused, and introduced himself.

“Veronica Lodge," she replied slightly breathlessly, "but you probably just heard that.”

An endearingly attractive boy called Lupin and a shorter one called Pettigrew both got sorted into Gryffindor too, as well as the boy James that Kevin had spoken to earlier. The minister of magic’s daughter, Josie, was sent over to Slytherin and the remaining students were spread pretty evenly across all the houses. Hufflepuff did get a surprisingly high intake number though, considering they were usually one of the smaller houses. Amongst these were a few darkly handsome boys which Kevin raised an eyebrow at and a girl with pink hair who dropped herself down in the seat opposite Kevin.

“And that brings to a close the sorting ceremony! It is always a great joy to welcome new students into our walls and I hope all of you are looking forward to the time you’ll spend here. There are a few perfunctory announcements to be made but I’m sure the rest of you are as greatly anticipating the marvellous feast as I am so I have taken the liberty of passing these on to the house prefects to be relayed later this evening. Let the celebrations commence!”

Rather than waving a wand he merely gestured widely with his arms as he spoke and suddenly the tables were laden with more types of food than Kevin could possibly list.

“Woah,” the girl opposite him gasped.

“Non-magical parents?” Veronica asked, next to him.

The pink-haired girl looked up quickly, as if she hadn’t expected anyone to hear her.

“I, uh, my parents were, but I’ve been brought up by my uncle since I was 6 and he’s just a normal person, yeah.”

Veronica frowned. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” She looked panicked for a second. “Not sorry that your uncle is a muggle, that’s fine, totally fine, I meant sorry that you’re parents aren’t around anymore. That must’ve been awful.”

The girl raised an eyebrow at Veronica’s fumbling and bit back a smile.

“It’s fine, it was a while ago. Does mean this is all pretty new to me though, if you don’t mind helping me out a bit? I’m guessing we’ll be seeing a lot of eachother since we’re in the same house?”

Veronica smiled widely. “I’d be honoured, we might even be in the same dorm room! I’m Veronica by the way,” she turned to Kevin who had been happily digging into the food for their whole conversation, “and this is Kevin.”

Kevin looked up and tried to hurriedly finish his mouthful whilst still smiling I what he hoped seemed a friendly way.

“I’m Toni, Toni Topaz.”

The three of them talked happily together for the rest for the meal. Kevin was glad he already had some friends in his house but was still a little apprehensive; Veronica and Toni would be in the same dorms and he would be with the other Huffepuff boys. He cast a glance down the table. None of them seemed obviously annoying or unpleasant. He supposed that was one benefit of being in Hufflepuff: you could pretty much guarantee that you wouldn’t get landed with anyone mean.  

Once the food was finished and Dumbledore had made one final, brief speech, the rest of the students began to drift off in groups or nip over to talk to their friends on different tables. The first years however were corralled up by the prefects and ushered out of the hall and towards their respective house common rooms.

“Sooo,” Veronica said, grabbing onto Kevin’s arm as they walked. “Anyone take your fancy?”

He’d thought his glances towards the other first year Hufflepuff boys ahead of them had been subtle but apparently that needed some finessing.

“I, um,” he blushed.

“Need to learn the art of lowkey checking out?” Veronica said with a laugh. “It’s fine, it wasn’t that obvious.”

“That’ll be interesting for you though, do you reckon any of them are gay too? Normally the separate dormitories make it harder for people to fool around so easily but if you get involved with a Hufflepuff boy it’ll be so easy!” As an after-thought she turned to Toni. “The girls’ dormitory staircases are enchanted so that if a boy tries to go up them they turn into a slide.”

Toni laughed. “So we’ve gotta be the ones to go over to theirs? Not fair, I might just stick to girls from now on out of sheer laziness.”

Kevin glanced over at her quickly but didn’t say anything. Not to blow his own trumpet but his gaydar was spot on, he’d seen the way she’d looked Veronica over earlier.

“Dammit guys! So I’m the only one that’s gonna have to drag my ass out to another person’s dorm?” So unfair.” Veronica pouted jokingly.

“I think you’re over-estimating the number of gay kids at Hogwarts.” Kevin said, half humorously, half bitter. “And even then the number of _out_ gay kids.”

Toni waved her arms in mock worship. “Amen to that brother.”

 

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Man I’m so pumped for quidditch trials tomorrow.”

Everyone was busy unpacking and Archie had just taken his broom out of its travelling case. He and James had been talking about quidditch non-stop since someone had first brought it up at the start of dinner. James was planning to try out for chaser, Archie for keeper, and Sirius for beater. Remus’ only solace so far had been Peter who, whilst he was still excited about quidditch, said he preferred to watch it from the stands rather than on a broom.

“Been waiting for this for years,” James agreed, rather unceremoniously shoving his clothes into a set of drawers. “So what about that girl, Beverly? And Kevin Keller. They a thing?”

Archie let out a deep laugh.

“It’s Betty. And nah man, Kevin’s gay.”

Sirius snorted.

“Way to have a gaydar man.”

James crossed his arms defensively.

“How the hell was I supposed to know, it’s not like he was prancing about in a set of rainbow robes for merlin’s sake.”

Remus, sat cross legged in the window, chuckled quietly to himself.

“You’re all okay with that aren’t you?" Archie's tone turned serious for a moment. "Cause Kevin’s a good friend so if you’ve got a problem with it…”

Remus suddenly became acutely aware of just how big Archie was. Even with the shapeless school uniforms on (they had all already discarded their robes for the night) you could tell he worked out and could easily win in a physical fight with any of them, although Sirius and James might put up a bit of a fight themselves.

“Mate it’s beyond fine, trust me” Sirius said.

From where he sat on the floor Peter shrugged, like it hadn’t even crossed his mind. “I don’t give a fuck.”

“Yeah no I don’t care, leaves more girls for us lot right!” James said with a smirk. “Besides he seemed like a cool dude when we were talking, you should tell him to come down to quidditch try-outs tomorrow so we can all hang out after.”

Archie turned to face Remus in the window, double checking they had a full house of non-dickheads. Remus raised an eyebrow at him as if to say ‘really?’ but then shrugged.

“He can watch with me and Peter in the stands.”

They could laugh all they liked at James for not having a gaydar about Kevin, but the lot of them were hypocrites for it.

“So you and Betty then,” James continued with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Archie shrugged and ran a hand through his hair.

“Honestly I dunno man, we’ve been friends forever, I’ve never really thought about it.”

“Better think about it quick mate or Potter’ll be in there before you even have a chance.”

James threw Peter a dirty look and Archie hit him good-naturedly over the head with his keeper’s mitt.

“I mean it is very convenient that you already know her,” Sirius chimed in. “When you guys meet up she can introduce us to all her Gryffindor girl-friends and if they’re hot we can make them _our_ Gryffindor girlfriends.”

It was Sirius’ turn to be on the receiving end of Archie mitt, thrown across the room right into Sirius’ head.

“Ow, fuck. You’re gonna make a bloody good keeper though.”

Archie grinned as he kicked his now empty trunk under his bed.

“Speaking of which I need my beauty sleep if I’m gonna be bagging a beater position tomorrow.”

“You need as much _beauty_ sleep as you can get mate.”

Sirius threw the mitt at James who dodged and leapt onto his own bed.

“Touchy, touchy.”

Remus uncrossed his legs and stood up from the window.

“if we’re all going to sleep can you put that damn thing away so I can safely go to bed without fear of projectiles.”

“Just because you wish you were as agile and quick-witted as us.” Sirius, who’s bed was closest to the window, made an attempt to poke Remus with his foot but missed by a good few inches.

“I’ll have you know I’m more than adequately agile thankyou very much.” Far more than adequately, Remus thought with bitter amusement.

It took another hour of giggling and muttered comments but eventually the five of them settled down. Remus lay awake for a while after the others, staring up at the roof of his four poster bed and listening to the quiet breathing of the other boys. He felt a great sense of relief; they all seemed really nice and he felt as though they might all end up getting on rather well. And Archie’s fierce protection of Kevin gave him piece of mind about one of his secrets. Granted it was by far the smallest one but at least it was one less thing to worry about.

**Author's Note:**

> Can I enter ‘I think you’re over-estimating the number of gay kids at Hogwarts’ in a contest for the most hilarious and meta thing to ever be uttered in a harry potter fanfic? 
> 
> hope you enjoyed that, drop a comment or kudos or subscribe if you did so I know I’m not the only person weirdly psyched about this combination of characters lol


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